


The One That Got Away

by NoraeNoona



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Implied Relationships, M/M, ThiccMassYunBin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoraeNoona/pseuds/NoraeNoona
Summary: Yunhyeong and Hanbin have the perfect relationship, but some good things must come to an end.You may recognize some dialogues from the lyrics of select iKON songs...





	The One That Got Away

**Author's Note:**

> This is my ThiccmasYUNBIN contri. There is an alternate ending, but it depends on the YunBin nation...also a loose canon.

Yunhyeong laughed at Chanwoo’s joke. It was a bit louder than usual - forced, and he knows it. He side glances at the guy across from on the bar, he was busy talking to someone. “Nice try.” Bobby elbowed him. Yunhyeong hates how his bestfriend can read him like a book. He rolled his eyes at Bobby and downed his drink.

They were at their usual spot by the bar in iKON bar, drinking the night away. He glances at the guy across from them again and sighs. It has been 2 years since he broke up with him, but he still gets the shivers when he sees him. He wanted to slap himself. Like he hasn’t seen him there before. The bar was their hangout place, it was where they met, where they spent the rest of their first date.

Yunhyeong still remembers it like it was yesterday. They became a couple after that night. They just clicked. Even though Yunhyeong was a year older, they shared a lot of the same hobbies and likes - from music to movies, food and of course drinking. They were inseparable. Him and Hanbin. Yunhyeong and Hanbin.

They were together for almost two years. It was good at first, they had fun. Yunhyeong was an English professor at a local college, and Hanbin was a music producer. They were both succesful, and everyone agreed they were the perfect couple. 

A month after getting together, at Hanbin’s suggestion - more like pestering, Yunhyeong moved in. He was that in love. They, were that in love. But everything went downhill after a year. 

Bobby nudged him again, he looked up just in time to see Hanbin moving towards them. It wasn’t the first time he tried approaching the group after their break-up, and Yunhyeong was fine with it now. Hanbin even gave him flowers the first few times they met at the bar. Yunhyeong chuckled at the tought of the dried roses pressed in some of his books.

“Hey! How’s it going.” Hanbin was all smiles when he finally reached his chair. All eyes were on Yunhyeong, and he justs shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing much? You?” Hanbin clinked their glasses. “Same old, same old.” They both downed their drinks. Hanbin then went on to talk to Bobby and Jinhwan before going back to his side of the bar.

The night continued, and drinks came pouring in. It was their first time meeting up after a while and the stories were endless. Jinhwan was drunk by the time they were about to leave. Hanbin came over again to check on them, and Jinhwan clung to him like glue. “Hanbin! I missed you!”

Yunhyeong rolled his eyes. They just talked earlier. “Let’s go hyung.” Jinhwan stumbled from the stool he was sitting on, and was hanging on to Hanbin for dear life. “You have to come with us Hanbin. Don’t leave me. Junhoe already left me.” There it came. One of the reasons why they were out drinking was to cleanse their broken hearts. Bobby also just broke up with Donghyuk.

“What is it with my friends breaking up with each other?” Everyone was a mess, and Yunhyeong was in the middle of it. Now Jinhwan is even dragging his ex in the picture. “Whatever.” He went out of the bar first, followed by his loud ass friends, laughing with his ex.

He got into his car and started the engine up. His friends started piling into the car - Bobby, Jinhwan and Chanwoo were at the back, while Hanbin rode shot gun. A pair of arms suddenly circled around Yunhyeong’s neck. “Yunnie! I still want to drink.” Yunhyeong sighed, while trying to loosen Jinhwan’s arms. His hyung maybe drunk, but he knows even in that state, what Jinhwan says is still an order.

“Okay hyung. We’ll stop at a convenience store on our way.” Jinhwan loosened his hold on Yunhyeong and placed a wet kiss on his cheek. “I knew I can count on you. I love you Yunnie! Yunnie for the win!” Yunhyeong snorted before pulling out of the parking lot. 

They stopped at a convenience store before heading to Jinhwan’s place, but when they arrived, the hyung was already knocked out. Bobby carried him to his bedroom but he never came back out. “I’ll go check on Bobby hyung. He probably took the whole bed in the spare room.” Chanwoo got up and staggered to the spare room. And like Bobby, he never came back.

“So it’s just us huh?” Hanbin said gulping down from the can of beer, while Yunhyeong prepared the snacks they bought. “Thank you for talking to me again Yunnie.” Yunhyeong shrugged, opening his own can. “It’s been two years. A lot has happened. We just learn to move on and forgive.”

“I never properly apologized to you Yunnie. I’m sorry for what I did to you and what I didn’t do. I couldn’t keep my promises. I let you down.” Hanbin’s voice was very low and even cracked a little. “What did happen? I never really knew because we never talked about it.” Yunhyeong’s eyes bore into Hanbin’s trying to search for the remnants of the man he loved - loves still.

 

* * *

 

Hanbin had a slump. He couldn’t make any music. All his songs were being rejected, and his boss from the record company placed him on indefinite leave. Hanbin couldn’t take it. He was called the genius producer, and has been making hit songs since he was 17. He couldn’t believe he’ll ever experience a block on his writing. But he did, and he couldn’t get over it.

He got knee-deep in depression, and spent most of the day asleep because of drinking all night. He would often be gone for days, drinking with his friends. His bank account got burned after months of doing the same thing, but that didn’t stop him.

Yunhyeong was at a loss. He had to pay for everything - their food, rent, bills - and he even gives Hanbin weekly allowance. They didn’t go out as much as before, at least not together. Hanbin wouldn’t even let Yunhyeong meet the friends he hangs out with. 

The call came in the afternoon. It was a Saturday and Yunhyeong was at home grading exam papers. His phone buzzed - it was Jinhwan. “Yunnie, what are you doing?” Yunhyeong sighed. “Hey hyung. I’m grading some papers. What’s up?” There was a pause. “Where’s Hanbin?” Yunhyeong suddenly felt panic rising from his throat.

“He’s spending the weekend with his friends.” Jinhwan paused again. “Well, I just saw him at the mall. He was with a guy I didn’t know.” Yunhyeong relaxed a bit. “Yeah, maybe that’s the friend he was talking about.” Jinhwan snorted at the other end of the line. “Do friends hold hands while walking around in the mall?”

Yunhyeong suddenly felt numb, a chill running down his back. “Hanbin is cheating on me? How? Why? When?” All these thoughts were running around Yunhyeong’s mind all day. Hanbin did not come home that night. Or the next day. When he did come home after two days, he was met with a hysterical Yunhyeong.

“Where did you go last Saturday?” Yunhyeong’s voice shook as he confronted Hanbin by the front door. “I told you I was with my friends.” Yunhyeong snorted. “Friends? Jinhwan hyung saw you holding hands with some guy at the mall!” His voice was a pitch higher, but Hanbin seemed unfazed.

“Yeah! He’s that friend.” Hanbin just shrugged his shoulders. He was tired from the all-nighters he had spent drinking and went straight to the bedroom to sleep. Yunhyeong was left in the living room, too shocked to even move. He knew by the way Hanbin avoided the topic that he won’t get another word from him about the incident.

Days passed, and Hanbin seemed normal again. He went back to the studio, working on some songs that he had written. He was also back to being the sweet and caring boyfriend that he was. Everything seemed fine. Until one day, Yunhyeong came home and found him packing.

“Where are you going?” Yunhyeong was in a panic. He thought Hanbin was leaving him for good. “I’m going on a trip with my friends. I’ll prolly be gone for a week or two.” Yunhyeong felt hurt. They haven’t even gone anywhere, yet Hanbin was planning a trip with other people. 

Hanbin didn’t even bother kissing Yunhyeong goodbye as he went out the door. Yunhyeong watched him cross the street from the window, where a car was waiting for him. He saw Hanbin get in the car, a big smile plastered on his face.

Yunhyeong had had enough. He realized he wouldn’t be able take it if Hanbin really leaves him. With a heavy heart, he started packing his stuff. It was better if he does the “leaving.” He called Bobby, asking if he could crash at his place until he finds himself an apartment. 

“Sure Yunnie. You’re welcome to stay with me as long as you want. But are you sure this is what you want to do?” Yunhyeong felt hot tears on his face. He didn’t even realize he was crying. “Yes! It’s better for him, and for me to leave this place. I don’t think he’d even know I’m gone.” He sobbed on the phone, because deep down in his heart, he knew that they have reached the end of their love story.

Bobby arrived after a few minutes to pick him up. He stared out the car window as Bobby drove away from their apartment, and he saw the ghost of his dead relationship with Hanbin all over the street. 

He saw the lamp post where they once shared a kiss, the waiting shed where they spent almost half the night waiting for the rain to stop when neither of them brought an umbrella. He saw the small restaurant where they ate lunches and dinners for when Yunhyeong was too lazy to cook, and the convenience store where they buy booze and snacks when they were both too stressed out and want to drink.

Fresh set of tears appeared on Yunhyeong’s eyes. “Where did it all go wrong?” Bobby was quiet the whole time. He turned on the radio, as Yunhyeong cried hysterically on the passenger seat.

On the coffee table at Yunhyeong’s apartment, sat a letter for Hanbin:

 

Binnie, 

It hurts but if we dragged it out more, it would’ve become a scar.  
I loved you and I was loved,  
So that’s good enough for me.

Goodbye my heart.

 

* * *

 

Hanbin felt his heart wrench as Yunhyeong sobbed in front of him. He balled up his fists, overcome with guilt. He knew that he had been an asshole, but he didn’t know how much of Yunhyeong he had broken for him to finally decide on the break-up.

He remembered the first time they met, how Yunhyeong snubbed him. He later learned that Yunhyeong had a history of bad break-ups, that he was cheated on and was even physically abused. He couldn’t believe that the ray of sunshine in front of him was treated that way, and he swore he’d win his heart and never let it break again.

It was a beautiful relationship. Yunhyeong was understanding and caring, and he treated Hanbin like a baby - always making him the top priority. Hanbin’s heart was full. His past relationship was torture, and he never thought someone could love him the way Yunhyeong does.

They have a crazy schedule. Yunhyeong works during the day, while Hanbin prefers to work at night. But they made it work. Yunhyeong didn’t take classes during the weekends so he could be home when Hanbin comes back from the studio. They would eat breakfast together and sleep the whole day. 

On the otherhand, Hanbin would try finishing a song or two during the week days so he could spend the weekend with Yunhyeong - watching movies or drinking at their place. When he’s not able to finish work, Yunheong would stay with him at the studio. Yunhyeong would be grading his students’ work while Hanbin finish composing songs. Yunhyeong would pack them snacks and in the morning, they’d go eat somewhere before heading home to sleep.

But one day, he lost inspiration. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months with no new songs coming to him. He asked for a leave to help him get his mind back together, but it never happened. He couldn’t tell Yunhyeong about it. He didn’t want to disappoint him for having a loser boyfriend. 

Yunhyeong assured him that it was just a block, but Hanbin brushed him off. Making songs and music was like second nature to him and blocks don’t ever happen to him. Except for that time.

He spent his nights drinking with his friends. Jaewon, his bestfriend, just came back from the US and he crashed at his place a lot. “What if Yunhyeong was the one responsible for your writer’s block? I mean, you were doing really well before he came in the picture.”

Hanbin looked at Jaewon menacingly. It was not because he was upset at his comment. He knew Jaewon has had a thing for him since they were younger, and had caused some minor damages in his past relationships. Hanbin knows that what he just said was to hurt him.

But Hanbin wasn’t hurt. He was angry. Not at Jaewon. No. Because at the back of Hanbin’s alcohol muddled brain, the wheels of guilt has turned. It had crossed his mind once or twice, that maybe being too happy with Yunhyeong was causing him this block. He was, after all, known for his talent in making songs about heart break. 

Sure, he writes songs about love and youth from time to time, but they were never as good as his break-up songs. He had thought about it once or twice, or maybe more than that. That’s why he tried avoiding Yunhyeong. He was guilty for having these ugly thoughts, and ashamed for putting some of the blame on Yunhyeong for his failure.

He did try to be normal. But he was just too scared to see the disappointment in Yunhyeong’s eyes, and his guilty thoughts. He was scared he would one day explode and say things he didn’t really mean. He was scared of seeing Yunhyeong’s unshed tears because he knew he was causinh him too much pain. That being with him has become a burden.

When Hanbin came back from his trip, he was welcomed with eerie silence. “Yunnie?” It was a Saturday, and he knew Yunhyeong didn’t have classes. He went to the bedroom thinking the other must be asleep, but found an empty cold bed. He went to the living room, planning on watching TV until Yunhyeong comes home, and saw the small piece of paper neatly folded on the coffee table.

Panic engulfed him, and he quickly went back to the bedroom and opened the cabinets, but saw empty shelves where Yunhyeong’s clothes used to be neatly folded. The drawer on the dresser where Yunhyeong’s underwear and socks were usually placed was also empty. Even their framed photograph on the bedside table was gone, along with Yunhyeong’s red toothbrush and red coffee cup. It was like he was never there.

Hanbin grabbed his phone and tried calling Yunhyeong, hoping against hope that he will answer. But all he heard was a computer recording saying that the call couldn’t be connected. He tried sending messages, but they wouldn’t send. He looked Yunhyeong up on his various SNS accounts, thinking he couldn’t send him a message from there, but even in the Internet he couldn’t find Yunhyeong. It was like he disappeared.

He ran outside and flagged a taxi to go to the university where Yunhyeong works, crossing his fingers that he would be there. But he was told that it was already the semestral break, and that Yunhyeong already resigned from his post.

Hanbin was confused, he didn’t even know Yunhyeong left his job. He tried calling Jinhwan, but was only rejected. He called Bobby next. “What do you want?” Bobby had always been overprotective of Yunhyeong, but Hanbin didn’t have much of choice. “Hey Bob. Do you know where Yunhyeong is?” Bobby snorted. “So you’ll only look for him now? Sorry. But you won’t get anything from me.”

Hanbin knew Junhoe and Donghyuk won’t tell him anything either, so he called Chanwoo next. His panic was already full blown as he listened to the intermitent ringing, and by the time Chanwoo finally answered, he was already sobbing on the phone. “Hyung! I’m sorry. All I can tell you is to let him go. You never took care of him properly anyway.”

Hanbin knows that among his hyungs, Chanwoo loves Yunhyeong the most. He was actually apprehensive about their relationship, because he knows about Yunhyeong’s past. But Hanbin promised him that he is different, that he would never do to Yunhyeong what his exes did. Yet here Hanbin is, doing everything that he said he wouldn’t.

“Chanwoo please. I know I fucked up. But please give me a chance to make it right.” He pleaded to Chanwoo, sobbing uncontrollably. “I’m really sorry hyung. To be honest, I don’t want you anywhere near him right now. You had your chances, he trusted you, I trusted you. But you’re already too late.”

 

* * *

 

Yunhyeong wiped the tears from his face. “Yunnie. Stop crying.” Hanbin’s voice was soft, as he grabbed Yunhyeong in a hug. He inhaled the familiar scent of his shampoo, and his cologne, something he had missed for so long. 

“I’m sorry Hanbin. I’m sorry for giving up on you. I’m sorry for not holding on. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should have been stronger. I should have given you the chance to work everything out. I should have waited for you and listened to you.” Yunhyeong was racked with hiccups as he sobbed in Hanbin’s arms.

“Don’t be sorry Yunnie. I don’t blame you. It was all my fault. I was too weak and prideful. I didn’t let you in when I should have counted on your support even more. I was too scared of being a loser in your eyes. I thought you’d never leave me no matter what stupid thing I do. I should have held on you tighter instead of pushing you up against a wall. I was selfish, I ignored your tears.”

They both cried openly, while clinging to each other. All their pain came pouring out from the wounds that they thought time and distance have healed. “I didn't mean to date you just to cry together. I didn't mean to create memories to be left with pain. I didn't love you just to break up with you.”

Hanbin caressed Yunhyeong’s face, tracing his features with trembling fingers. He kissed Yunhyeong lips, enjoying the familiar taste of his cherry lipbalm. The kiss was soft and tender, almost painful.

Hanbin fought the urge to continue, but he knew that he doesn’t have the courage. He pulled back and wiped the tears on Yunhyeong’s face. He touched their foreheads together, and Hanbin marvelled at how long and dark Yunhyeong’s lashes are. He kissed both of Yunhyeong’s eyes, before kissing the tip of his nose.

“I think I better go.” Hanbin fought the urge to stay, but he knew it was just borrowed time. Yunhyeong clung to Hanbin’s arms as fresh tears came pouring down on his face. “No. Please.” Yunhyeong suddenly found it hard to breathe. “Please stay a bit longer.”

Hanbin’s eyes blurred with tears. “You know I can’t Yunnie. We can’t do this again. Not now. A lot has happened in the past two years, a lot has changed.” Yunhyeong let his arms go. He knows what Hanbin said is the truth. Their break-up was painful, not only for them, but also for the people around them.

“I know. We can’t go back.” Yunhyeong whispered, standing up. Hanbin also stood up. He walked slowly to the front door, Yunhyeong following close behind him. Hanbin reached a hand for the door knob, but he heared Yunhyeong sob behind him. He turned around and hugged Yunhyeong tight.

Yunhyeong hugged him back, trying to stop himself from shaking. Hanbin pulled back slightly, and this time, it was Yunhyeong who kissed him. This time it was more feverish, filled with two years of longing for each other. But like their love story, the kiss too must end. 

“I love you.” Yunhyeong’s hands were warm on Hanbin’s which was holding the former’s cheek. Hanbin’s thumb softly caressed Yunhyeong’s cheek, trying to catch the tear drops that can’t seem to stop falling. “I love you too.” Hanbin moved back, pulling his hand as he did. He opened the door and stepped out from the apartment.

Yunhyeong looked out the window. Watching Hanbin crossed the street. He saw Hanbin turn around, and he waved at him. Hanbin waved back. He stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes, staring back up at Yunhyeong, before waving again. He turned around and disappeared around the corner.

Yunhyeong fished his phone out of his pocket. He searched through his contacts and unblocked Hanbin’s number. He also went through each of his SNS accounts and unblocked him there too. 

The sun was just starting to rise, and Yunhyeong stood by the window, watching as the sky slowly burned red, orange, and yellow. The tears on his face has already dried, and his lips were still a bit numb from their last kiss. “Last kiss.” Yunhyeong whispered.

He started typing out a message on his phone: 

I hope you only walk on the path with flowers. Forget all the memories of me as you go. I love you.

He pressed the send button, and closed the curtains.

**Author's Note:**

> I am hoping against hope that the YunBin nation will survive the recent events. Let’s be strong fam.


End file.
